I'm just like you. I'm a multimillionaire cool guy stud-muffin, with two still-married, supportive supermodel parents who are extremely liberal and accepting of gay people. I just don’t know how I’m ever going to come out. There are too many road blocks in front of me.
Also, all my friends are totally fine with people being gay, but I still don’t think it's going to be okay. Also, Blue, I have thought you were approximately 10 different guys in my high school and I fell in love with each of them instantly, because apparently all it takes for a gay person to fall in love is meeting another gay person, unless their name is Ethan—then, ew, gross.
Love, Jaques (I’m writing this in 2018, not 1918, believe it or not)
P.S. I'm currently being blackmailed for no reason, but when my friends eventually find out, they will they will not take this into consideration.
P.P.S. Also, I’m going to force you to come out publicly in front of the whole school or else you don't love me and therefore are also intolerant, so you better get on that Ferris wheel—or else.
This episode is sponsored by the International Sweatshop Association.