Strap on your helmets (and your garbage bags) for a review of Zach Braff's zany but somber-seeming directorial debut, "Garden State." It's got everything you could ever want in a movie: paraplegics drowning in bathtubs, humping dogs, diplomas on ceilings and Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory."
Zach Braff plays Andrew "Large" Largeman, a twenty-something struggling actor who has been rendered emotionless after a lifetime of taking psychiatric medications following an incident where he shoved his mother and inadvertently paralyzed her from the waist down (that old chestnut). Large must return home for the first time in a decade when he finds out that his mom died. Once home, he goes cold turkey off his meds and starts staring into the infinite abyss known as life or something.
Natalie Portman plays Samantha, a hamster-murdering former figure skater who claims to have epilepsy, but it's unclear if anything we learn about her is remotely true given that she's a pathological liar. Also, all of her physical and emotional problems seem to magically disappear as soon she falls in love with Zach Braff's equally damaged character.
Peter Sarsgaard plays Mark, a pathetic gravedigger who still acts like he's in high school and lives at home with his mommy (played by Jean Smart). After Mark robs Large's mother's grave, we're supposed to forgive him because he takes us on a bizarre scavenger hunt involving shoplifting, visiting a hooker lair and bartering with some creepy weirdo who collects dead people's jewelry.
Ian Holm (a.k.a. Bilbo Baggins) plays Dr. Gideon Largeman, Andrew's cold and creepy psychiatrist father who has no professional ethics and has been writing all sorts of prescriptions for his son for the past decade despite the fact that they have little to no contact.
Join us as we discuss our difficulties at the gas pump, wonder if this movie's anti-pharmaceutical message is connected to Scientology and go back in time to prevent Keating's younger self from ever liking this movie.
This episode is sponsored by Turbo Extreme Titanium Gym.