Episode 71 - My Girl

1991's tear-jerker "My Girl" ♪has got storm clouds on a sunny day
It wasn't cold outside when they killed off Thomas J
Well I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
Dead kid (dead kid, dead kid)
Talkin' 'bout dead kid (dead kid)♪

This nostalgic coming-of-age story would appropriately be titled "American Horror Story" with its ghoulish setting and the fact that it repeatedly bashes the audience over the head with disturbing events until they are left huddling in the corner, weeping.

Anna Chlumsky of HBO's "Veep" plays Vada Sultenfuss, a precocious hypochondriacal 11 year old whose mother died in childbirth and whose emotionally-distant father raises her in an operational funeral home where she is constantly exposed to death. Also, her sweet grandma who moved in with them to help out is stricken with advanced Alzheimer's disease (which is used for comic relief in this movie). Also, her favorite teacher turns out to be a creep who is playing emotional mind games with her. Also, her best friend dies. So, you know, normal kid stuff. 

Macaulay Culkin plays Thomas J, a nice young boy who loves Vada with all of his little heart and does his best to help her cope with the difficulties of her childhood until the filmmakers unleash a hive of bees upon him and murder him for their own sick purposes.

Dan Aykroyd plays Harry Sultenfuss, a small-town mortician who became dead inside on the day of his daughter’s birth due to the death of his wife. He drifts along as a shadow of his former self and is completely oblivious of the emotional needs of the people around him until he starts getting laid and snaps back to life.

Jamie Lee Curtis plays Shelly DeVoto, a cosmetologist who lives in a stolen motor home and comes to work at the Sultenfuss Funeral Parlor. She quickly decides that she wants to join this ready-made family and puts some serious moves on her new boss to make it happen.

Join us as we discuss how this movie's producer probably bribed the MPAA for its PG rating, how we are reviewing the statute of limitation on pressing charges against Mr. Bixler, and whether Dan Aykroyd's breasts are real or not.

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This episode is sponsored by Labor of Love.