On May 16, 1986 the United States Navy released a propaganda film featuring some of the worst music ever created. Its purpose was to brainwash young men into signing up for the military by offering them false hope of becoming the best fighter pilots in the world.
Sadly, they succeeded.
We've got our Ray-Bans on and our bodies all oiled up for our trip to the danger zone. We feel the need... the need for showers to wash off the douchiness of 1986's highest grossing film, "Top Gun."
Tom Cruise plays "Maverick," a mentally-damaged man-child with a tendency to put his fellow aviators at risk, which he attributes to his daddy being shot down in Vietnam. Anthony Edwards plays "Goose," Maverick's conflicted sidekick who is clearly romantically in love with Maverick despite being married. Val Kilmer plays "Iceman," an ultra-80s cliché opponent for the protagonist to best. Kelly McGillis plays "Charlie," an unethical flight instructor who engages in a super cheesy slowmo sex romp with her student while unforgivably bad music plays.
This episode is sponsored by ShameHoleBusters.